How Core Strength In Your Body Is Like Secure Attachment In Your Relationships

by ellenboeder | Jan 13, 2023 | attachment, core strength, relationship, Uncategorized

Photo by Lucian Gaddis, Canyonlands, UT. Becoming securely attached in our most important relationships is something really huge and foundational to our development.  We all have the biological imperative (meaning a survival need) to attach. It is a largely...

Why “Warn” New Parents When We Could Invite Them In, Instead?

by ellenboeder | Jun 29, 2021 | attachment, attachment parenting, empowerment, Motherhood, Parenting, relationship

I was “warned” about a lot of things as I embarked on pregnancy, birth, and motherhood, from well meaning people. But it never felt good to be warned about how tired I would be, how I would have no time for myself, how hard my infant, toddler, preteen or adolescent...

The Painful Truth About Partnership in The Pandemic

by ellenboeder | Feb 21, 2021 | Marriage, nurturing, Parenting, psychology, relationship, yoga

As a couples therapist and coach, sometimes I feel like I’m on the frontlines of a pandemic of individualism–especially when I’m facing how challenging it is for couples to think in a more complex, systemic way about their relationship. It is so hard...

What If We Parented Our Kids As If Our Future Depended On It? (Because It Does)

by ellenboeder | Dec 23, 2018 | attachment, empathy, Feminism, health, nurturing, Parenting, psychology, relationship

What if we parented our kids like our future depends on it? (Because, of course, it does).   What does that look like?  How do we treat our children in a way that considers their future roles, responsibilities, and opportunities?  That respects the...

On Independence, Fear, Patriarchy, and T-Shirt Slogans

by ellenboeder | Dec 7, 2018 | attachment, empowerment, Feminism, Motherhood, Parenting, psychology, relationship, values

Yesterday I walked by a man who was jogging wearing a t-shirt that read “Fearlessly Independent.”  As he jogged past me, I thought about my current life, and how “fearless” and “independent” are definitely not words I would use to describe myself today. I...

If Attachment Parenting Is Draining You, Try This

by ellenboeder | Dec 28, 2017 | attachment, Marriage, Motherhood, Parenting, psychology, relationship, values

In the early years of raising our family, when we had two very young ones in our care, I remember realizing how often I was overriding my need for rest, among other needs. I remember thinking, “Wow, it took me years to figure out what I really need and want, and...